These days I’m the project coordinator of a psychology study and I work with kids from inpatient units in the area. I like this work. I liked the exciting and sometimes nerve wracking adventures in Guatemala and Chelsea, but I like this work too.
A bit ago, sitting in a room with a teenager who recently attempted suicide, I realized why. In my job, I meet people at their car, bring them into the lab, talk pleasantries, and then suddenly I’m allowed to ask them about things that trouble them deeply. I ask the questions that you’re too polite to ask of your friends, and the adolescents readily answer. Sometimes I ask a question and by their response, I know it is a question they wanted maybe even needed to answer. I feel that I’m good at this. Being there asking and listening. Never commenting, but being present.
I tell people around me how much I like working with these kids and that it makes me hopeful. I talk to Erin about it. She sees similar kids and sees mostly the negatives. These kids don’t always bounce right back out of depression and she sees them return to the hospital over and over. Depression, suicidality, non-suicidal self injury, these things aren’t always easy to treat.
But when I’m alone with a kid, and I’m asking them to tell me their deep inner secrets, they almost always just want to explain what makes their lives difficult. In the room, without the parents that elicit conflict, without the coursework that’s killing them, without the friends that maybe aren’t so great, even the most difficult kid is almost always incredibly likable. I like that I get to see that part of people- the part that just wants to tell their story and be understood. Working with pregnant teens in Chelsea, it was the same part. If you can just find the right questions, in general people feel the need to be heard and I like being the one who is listening with a tape recorder or with a diagnostic interview. Every time I run a subject at work, for four hours, adolescents get to be around people that are interested in their lives, ask the right questions, want to help them, and at least in my mind, think they are pretty great.
