Amanda van Scoyoc

I always have a difficult time when my days are timeless with nothing in particular that needs to get done at any given time and everything that needs to get done eventually. Since returning to NC, I’ve been studying for the GREs, looking at graduate school programs, looking for a job, troubleshooting photography issues, and looking at houses. All of these decisions that I need to make feel very oppressive. Finding a job in this economy is incredibly difficult.

I miss being in Boston where I had concrete goals. I miss knowing exactly what I want to do and knowing what I had to do on any particular day. These days I seem to have an incredibly hard time relaxing because the goals are too large to complete on a daily basis. I seem to wake up and go to sleep with the exact same anxieties and the feeling that nothing I do in the course of the day will dramatically reduce the stress.

Yesterday me and Eli spent the entire day out of the house. I needed that, and it was wonderful to escape. We ended up going to the NC state fair. It made me feel proud to be a NC State resident (even if most of the political stickers we saw were for McCain Palin.) I am always so fascinated by how different people live their lives, and at the NC state fair I am always reminded that so many lives in NC revolve around crops and livestock. It’s such a strange thing for me to see young children raising animals to be slaughtered. There is such obvious affection for the animals.

Eli and Dromedary

Amanda and Dromedary

Eli milking a cow

Cow gets milked

Amanda milking a cow