It has been a couple of crazy weeks, but I’m into graduate schools and now I just need to decide what I am going to study and where I am going to spend the next 5-8 years of my life. I have 5 weeks left to make this decision. All day every day I ask myself if I am meant to be a clinical psychologist, social work researcher, or anthropologist. I have options, lots of options, more options than my brain can handle thinking about. Indecisiveness and a broad range of interests has brought me to this point.
These past three weeks I have been to Pittsburgh, DC, Miami, Ft. Lauderdale, and North Carolina. I am about to head up to DC, then to Philadelphia, then to Michigan, then back to DC, then North Carolina, then on to Oregon. It is a busy life that I will be glad to give up once the decision is made.
Applying and deciding has been an emotional journey. I have enjoyed lots of small moments amid interview preparation and performance. I have talked to many brilliant researchers who have listened to me. I have looked at myself in the mirror suited up and spiffy and hardly recognized myself. I’ve listened to myself speak on interviews and been surprised by how eager I am to move forward into graduate school. I’ve gotten so excited over graduate school that I can’t sleep and so nervous that I can’t get out of bed in the morning. I have this lingering feeling that maybe they made a mistake admitting me. They read the essay wrong, didn’t realize how little I really know.
But in the midst of all of this, I feel incredibly grounded. Going to college I was alone. Now there are two of us making this decision, and we will start another home together. Eli will help with the dinners when I’m too tired. He’ll be there to be more important than anything and everything else. Amid the stress of decision-making I have gone with my mom to see my grandmother’s cousin to hear all of her stories of life during the depression. I have spent hours driving Eli nuts with all of my indecisiveness. I have caught up with my mom’s childhood friend and heard that, “Oh, everyone in school knew of Stu Van Scoyoc.” And I have floated around a butterfly house with Erin, Annabel, Hanna, and Isaac. I can’t complain.
Gearing up for my final clinical psychology interview.
My mom interviewing Mary Etna (my grandmother's cousin who is 96 and lovely.)
Mary Etna after I opened the window blinds.
My mom and her childhood friend, Michelle.
Hanna, Erin, Annabel, and a beautiful butterfly at the Museum of Life and Science.
Annabel and some mating butterflies. (Rusty, this one is for you.)
Michele White said on March 29th, 2010 at 11:41 am:
It was good to see you again. I’m sure, with your talents, that whatever grad school path you decide to go down, you’ll find success and fulfilment; such interesting options…
damaris said on May 8th, 2010 at 11:14 pm:
I googled my name “damaris” and then an image came up on google from one of your interviewees. I am so very glad that I found you. Your documentary is amazing. It’s inspiring to the core. I finished an MA in Social Documentation. I work with audio but right now I’m just blogging and being a mom.
I think that finding your work has been a Mother’s day present to myself.
Your photography has warmed my soul.