Amanda van Scoyoc

This is a photo of Damaris with the cast she made of her pregnant belly. In this photo she a beautiful 8 months pregnant.

Damaris Interview
January 17, 2008 4:45PM.

Damaris: My name is Damaris Nevarez. I am nineteen years old. I’m from Puerto Rico… I am seven months pregnant.

Ok, I’m going to talk about the first time I got pregnant and why. Ok, the reason why I even tried to check if I was pregnant was because I missed my period for a whole month. It wasn’t there. I got a urinary infection with that. My mom said to me “You’re pregnant.” I said “No I’m not” and she said “Yes you are.” The first time she got pregnant with my brother she got a urinary infection too. So then I was like, “Ok let me just find out.

So the next day I was working so my boyfriend came into work with me. When I had my break, he actually went to John’s pizza to get us something to eat and I went to the store, Compare. I bought a pregnancy test. He was waiting for me at John’s pizza. We ate. We were kind of quiet. And we were just nervous. I was like, “Don’t worry we’re not pregnant. We’re just not.” And we went back to Roca. I went straight to the bathroom. I didn’t really wait and it came back negative. It was like a relief for him, you know. Then it came out positive. I let it sit wait a little bit, and it came out positive. And of course, I was really happy and he was too, but we were nervous cause we knew our life was going to change, and I didn’t know how other people were going to take it. I don’t really care about what other people say or my family but they actually took it really really good.

Interviewer: How so?

Damaris: My mom was happy. My sister was excited too. Everyone was excited. This is the first time his family is going to be grandparents and aunts and uncles. They were really excited too. So the first person I told was him, and then he called his brother and told his brother that he was going to become an uncle. His brother was really excited. It was a good day. It wasn’t bad, but it was hard to keep the secret, like I wanted to keep it a secret, but I couldn’t I wanted to tell everyone.

Interviewer: (looking at photos in her journal) Were these pictures taken when you first found out you were pregnant or later?

Damaris: I believe these pictures were taken a day or two after I found out I was pregnant. Yeah I took a picture of that pregnancy test that I took. I wanted to keep it but it smelled really bad. So I was like, “No, I’ll just throw it away.”

Yeah I was really excited. I was so happy I couldn’t believe I was pregnant. I felt kind of good because I thought at least I’d beaten both my sisters because my first sister got pregnant when she was fourteen and the other one got pregnant when she was 18. I was 19 when I got pregnant.

Interviewer: I guess the only other thing we should do is (talk about) how you feel at seven months? Cause then when we do other audio recording…

Damaris: Um, I can’t complain about my pregnancy. I feel very well actually. I believe the baby has been very very good. She has never bothered me at all. Um, ever since I was like a month… well you know I didn’t even know I was pregnant. I didn’t even throw up puke or anything. Throughout my whole pregnancy I haven’t even puked. I eat a lot of food. I used to eat a lot before but not I eat a bit more. It’s been great. Even now at 7 months it still feels great. I feel a bit bigger. It’s a little bit harder for me to move around the bed and to get up from the bed it’s a little bit harder for me. To bend down. If I want to bend it’s a little hard. I have to squat. Is that how you say it? Squat? Yeah, um to pick up something… The stairs, I used to go up like 12 stairs like it was nothing. But, now it’s as if I did 2 miles just getting up those stairs…

Below is a transcription of an interview I did last week with Roxannie. During the interview she was very excited to talk on tape (she talked quickly and transcribing was a nightmare.) I have become quite close to Roxannie and she was willing to talk very honestly about her experiences as a teen mother. After we were done, she wanted to listen to the interview, so I put the headsets on her head and played back the tape. When it got to the part about her daughter’s Dad, she began to cry but kept listening. When I finally took the headsets off she said, “It is really sad isn’t it?” And I said, “yes, it’s sad.”

First a few of my photos of Roxannie and her daughter in their house. These are still raw and will soon be photoshopped.

“R: So, my name is Roxannie and I’m 20 years old now. My daughter is 4. I had her when I was 15. Her name is Naisha. Um, Naisha is from El Salvador and Puerto Rico. I’m from Puerto Rico. Her dad is El Salvadorian.

A: Where were you when you found out you were pregnant? How did you feel?
R: I was thinking about it for like three days before I decided to go and get tested. I was thinking about it and I wouldn’t tell nobody. I didn’t even tell Alex that I felt like if I was pregnant. I was feeling completely different. I knew I was pregnant right away because it was a complete change in my body in my mood, everything. So, I was in school, I decided to go to the doctor because they have a clinic in the high school. I got tested right there. I just started crying, felt overwhelmed that I was pregnant. Didn’t know what to think.

A: Did any part of you want to get pregnant?
R: It was a surprise, but I can’t say that we didn’t know that something like that could happen, because we weren’t using protection on either side, and we lived in the same house, and we slept in the same bed. Like we knew something like that could happen, but we didn’t prevent it. So, we weren’t all that surprised. I was just overwhelmed by the news.

A: Do you remember when you first held Naisha and what you felt like?
R: Well, right after we came out of the C-section… I was immediately out… When I woke up, what I saw was I saw Alex changing her diaper… and I was like “oh that’s my daughter, that’s my baby” But just immediately you have this bond… Like she’s not there no more. I’m not talking to the belly no more or trying to bother her. I used to poke my stomach just for her to hit back or something… and this time I was like touching her and it was nice.

A: How were the first few months with Naisha…
R: It just felt natural, and the doctors were surprised cause like I was only 15, but I didn’t ask the nurses for any help, it was natural. I didn’t have no complaints. I didn’t ask for help. Like, I knew what I was doing it was something natural. That’s how I felt.

A: What is your relationship with Alex like now?
R: I can’t say it’s a good relationship because really it’s not. Before, when I tried for it to be a good relationship because of the baby and stuff like that, Alex used to hang out with Naisha because I was always pushing it like, “Hey, you gonna come pick up Naisha? Hey … do you want to have her in the afternoon?” and I would go drop her off… I stopped doing that about like a year ago, because I wasn’t feeling me being after him all the time…

And I don’t have anything against him you know, I treat him with respect… It’s not a “Hi, how are you doing?” It’s just a simple “Hi. Ok, you’re taking her. Ok what time are you going to bring her back? She needs to eat. Make sure that she’s covered, and I will call you to see when it’s close to eight o’clock.”
Like that’s all.

…Naisha when she was three she was starting to create an imaginary figure of her father, and every single time she was in her room, she would come out and be like, “Oh Mom, I talked to Dad. Me and Daddy are going here, or me and Daddy did this.” I knew what she was telling me wasn’t real… she was going through a phase where her father and her weren’t together as often or she didn’t see him as much, so she was just creating an imaginary figure of him… That hurt me a lot. That hurt me so much and I told him and it was like nothing… But it’s like whatever. You’re not a good father so for me you are nothing. You are just Naisha’s Dad. That’s it. He’s just Naisha’s Dad.

A: Do you want to have more children and if so when.
R: Eh, well I had her when I was 15. I’m only 20. She’s 4, I’m just about to finish my GED. I like what I’m doing… I want to travel with Naisha. I want to go to Africa and Europe with her. South America, and have this road trip in the States. I don’t think anytime soon. I don’t know when either. Now that I’m on my own… I don’t know. Not having that other someone there, the father there for her, it’s a lot harder for me. I don’t think I want to go through this again… I want to adopt orphans. So maybe I’ll just adopt orphans after I turn 25 or after I turn 30, and just you know give my love to other kids instead of having more kids. Who knows.”

Here are some Roxannie’s photos. The bottom one is of Naisha taking her asthma medicine.

On Wednesday I went on my first intake visit with Healthy Families. An intake visit is the first visit with a young mother. Roca gets a referral from either a school or hospital and then schedules a time to meet with the young woman, usually in her home. Before the intake, Roca only knows that the young woman may be in need of Healthy Families services.

At 2 PM, I drive with Eloisa to the address of the young woman on her list. We end up in a part of East Boston that neither of us has been to before, and we park in front of a condo with the address. Inside the building there were 4 or 5 apartments and Eloisa knocks on doors and loudly says “Sandra, is Sandra here? We are looking for Sandra.” She has learned from experience that she must take charge of finding the young women. She opens a door to the wrong apartment and a small child points upstairs. A mother emerges behind the child and says in Spanish that Sandra’s apartment is one floor above.

Inside of the apartment it is dark and noisy. The TV is on as well as a lullaby. Sandra and her mom sit on the couch and we sit down as well. Sandra does not smile or look at us at first. Sandra’s mom asks if she can make us a cup of coffee or a cup of tea. She smiles at us and seems grateful that we have come. The baby is in the corner of the room sleeping in an electrical swinging bassinet that plays the same 2-minute tune throughout the visit. Although the baby is only a few feet away and signs of the baby are everywhere (in Sandra’s still puffy stomach, the music in the air, the toys on the floor, the fact that at 2PM Sandra is at home,) Eloisa doesn’t mention the baby. The focus of intake visits is the new mother. The baby is only mentioned in the question “when did you give birth.”

Sandra’s mom is very proud of her child and boasts that Sandra has always been such an independent young woman. She wants to help Sandra move out of the house and into an apartment with her 18-year-old boyfriend. She is OK with signing the papers so they can get married if that is what Sandra wants. Living in the house is tight. Sandra has three younger brothers.

In an attempt to give Eloisa and Sandra some privacy, Sandra’s mom and I walk over to the sleeping baby. Hovering over it, she says how wonderful it is to have a new baby in the house again. It makes her want a new one of her own. I say how beautiful the baby is. She says that the baby is a good baby just like Sandra was. She says Sandra only had to push seven times to get her out. I don’t know what to say to this so I say, “It must be in your genes. You must be so proud.” We stand around the baby not saying anything and then Sandra’s mom says something about dishes and walks into the adjoining kitchen. I return to the couch with Sandra and Eloisa and we don’t mention the baby again.